Children in the middle of a family with three or more children tend to feel neglected more than those in the center. The firstborn child usually gets the most attention and care, while the other children are left to take care of themselves. Many children grow up with certain personality traits because of how they were raised.
The first child is a big deal for parents. By the time the second child arrives, parents feel more relaxed and at ease because they have learned parenting skills. This level of excitement is lower. They don’t neglect their other children, but they react more to them and feel much more secure in their role as parents.
The middle child syndrome
Alfred Adler, a psychologist, studied the influence of birth order on personality development in 1964. His theory that the birth or gender order had a significant impact on the child’s psychological development wasn’t widely accepted at the time.
Because of his parents’ higher expectations, he believed the oldest child had more authority than his/her siblings. This makes the child a natural leader.
He believed that middle siblings often have difficulty finding their place in the family. They are stuck between the youngest and oldest children, so they do their best to get their parents’ attention. This feeling of rejection might be a part of their lives.
Adler stated that the youngest sibling is often treated with special care and often spoilt. They are free to choose their own rules and have more freedom than the parents.
Characteristics of a middle child
Psychologists have studied the impact of birth order on the personality of the middle sibling. These are some of the most common traits:
Even-tempered
The middle child often feels that the firstborn and baby are more important, so they yearn to return to the place that is lost. These kids are quieter, more calm, and more even-tempered.
Feeling ignored
Middle siblings have fewer responsibilities and receive less attention than their younger siblings. They feel less valued and ignored because of this. However, in most cases it was proven that this perception is false.
Competitive
These children quickly realize that competition is a part of life. These children are competitive to win the affection of their parents, and they grow up to be competitive adults.
Is there a middle-child syndrome that affects adults?
Personality and relationships develop in childhood and are often carried into adulthood. Many middle-aged children feel neglected and have a tendency to express these feelings. Adult co-dependency can result. Researchers continue to study the link between the birth order and the middle-child syndrome. One study found that middle siblings are more susceptible to developing OCD, schizophrenia, autism and eating disorders.
The middle-child syndrome is more than a theory
Because they feel neglected, middle-aged children avoid talking to their parents. A 2016 study found that middle-aged children are less family-oriented than their peers and don’t regard their parents as trustworthy. A 2003 study found that middle-aged children are more likely to be depressed than their peers.
Research is inconsistent so we can’t rely completely on it. Some prove the theory while others do not.